What is emotional abuse?
- Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
- Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
- Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
- Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
- Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
- Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
- Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
- Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
- Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
- Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
- Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
- Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
- Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
- Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
- Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.
Intimate partner violence is almost never as simple as “just leave.” See 50 reasons why survivors stay.
For an incredible resource about intimate partner violence in the queer community, check out The Network La Red.